Just Visiting
by Elda Gee
Summary: Altair and Malik in Middle Earth. That should be fun, right?


"Malik."

"Yes, Altair?"

"There's a small child...with the face of a man...pointing a sword at me."

"Yes, Altair."

"Why the _fuck_ does he have the face of a man?"

"To hell if I know! Why don't you tell me, _oh great_ _wielder of the Apple_?" Malik growled sarcastically, his frustration evident in the tone of his voice.

A small blonde man currently had him lying face down with his hand held tightly behind his back and was promptly sitting on him whilst another dark-haired man of similar height had Altair backed up against a tree with a large sword only inches away from his throat.

The two men, who were in fact dwarves, happened to be Fili and Kili of the line of Durin, and the company of Thorin Oakenshield, who they had sent Bilbo to call. The dwarves had stumbled upon Altair and Malik whilst keeping watch at night. Well they were meant to be keeping watch near the camp but it had been as quiet a night as any and when Bilbo had woken up they had decided to wander further into the forest. At least the brothers had, Bilbo just got pushed along by Kili who promised the hobbit that it would be fun.

Altair and Malik had both been unconscious when the dwarves had found them, which would explain their current _situation_. "They speak as we do yet I do not understand a word of what they say," Kili announced. "They look like men of some sort. Perhaps they are elves or wizards, their garments are strange enough," Fili replied as he scrutinised Malik who was struggling under him. "Gandalf will know what they are," Kili said confidently as he took another step toward Altair.

"Just over here!" Bilbo's voice came from not far off as he led the company of dwarves and wizard to Fili and Kili's location. Just then Altair leapt to his side, taking advantage of the distracted dwarf, and pulled out his own sword, aiming it at his captor. "Kili!" Fili called out and instinctively reached out for his brother, forgetting for a moment about his own captive.

With the grip on his arm loosened, Malik easily freed himself, throwing the dwarf off with a strong jerk of his body. He too pulled out a short sword and stood in a fighting stance a few feet from the blonde dwarf who was getting back on his feet.

Just as both Altair and Malik made to strike, a group of dwarves swarmed in on them, knocking them both down to the ground. "Where do these things keep coming from!?" Altair cursed with clenched teeth as he tried to rid himself of the dwarves whose strength were far more superior than their height.

The dwarves were shouting and crying out as they struggled to keep the two men restrained. "Do not kill them. Tie them up!" Thorin ordered as he lunged toward Malik, barely managing to get out of the way of the man's wielded blade.

The struggle continued for a while longer with no side making an obvious advance. Bilbo kept to the sidelines beside Gandalf who was watching the scene before him with keen interest. He did not recognise the two men and a golden object in one of their hands caught his attention.

At long last Gandalf got fed up with all their squabbling and hit his staff to the ground summoning a bright light and causing a slight tremor of the earth. "Enough of this nonsense," he bellowed, seemingly twice his regular size. Altair and Malik, who had not previously noticed the wizard, stood stupefied in their spots. "It is rather obvious that neither of these men have any intention of taking your lives as they would have done so by now. Let us then attempt a _civil_ meeting with these foreigners," Gandalf proposed though no one made a move, including Ori who was clutching onto Altair's back for dear life, "without weapons and fighting," Gandalf added with an impatient sigh.

Malik and Altair still did not move from their positions but hesitantly lowered then sheathed their weapons as the dwarves began to back away from them slowly. Ori fell off Altair whilst attempting to climb down safely, and Fili reluctantly stopped chewing on Altair's leg. Fili muttered something about _daring to threaten his brother again_ as he walked over to the rest of the dwarves who were gathering around Gandalf.

Thorin, Balin and Dwalin also left Malik after Dwalin made sure he had head butted the larger man's stomach at least twice. All the dwarves then made a circle amongst themselves and began muttering. Malik moved to stand beside Altair under the watchful eye of Bofur and Kili.

"What did you get us into now?" Malik whispered harshly to Altair who was still coming to terms with what was happening. "Some god damn place where children have the face of grown fucking men and the strength of horses," was Altair's reply as he continued to stare at the group of dwarves whose heads popped up from their circle every now and again. "Can you stop with their faces Altair, they are _aqzaam,_ dwarves, now get over it. But the blonde one mentioned something about elves and wizards and then there was that bright light. Altair, that apple of yours has brought us to a very strange place," Malik scrutinized his surroundings as he spoke, becoming wary of everything around them, including the trees that almost seemed to be alive.

"We have decided." The voice of Thorin was exceedingly loud in the quiet of the night and immediately caught the attention of Altair and Malik who straightened up and seized conversing. "We shall return to our camp and you two shall join us. There we shall discuss all that needs be discussed. You must however, forfeit your weapons." Thorin was standing a few feet in front of the rest of his party and noticed how the two men immediately tensed upon hearing his last statement. "We mean no harm," he clarified, "yet."

Altair's hand went to the hilt of his blade as he clenched his teeth in frustration; "you dare to mock us?" "Wait," Malik called out quickly, steadying Altair, who looked ready to pounce at Thorin, with a hand on his shoulder. "We do not seek battle, only answers. If such is your intent also then allow us to keep our weapons as you will yours. Such is only fair. Otherwise we will part ways here."

After listening to Malik intently Thorin turned to look at Gandalf who seemed thoroughly distracted by some other matter as a vacant look was upon his eyes. "Gandalf, what say you on the matter?" Thorin's question had evidently disrupted Gandalf's train of thought. The old wizard turned to the dwarf and said with a small smile that made him look all the wiser; "they shall come."

And so it was decided that the two strangers would follow the company of Thorin Oakenshield back to their campsite on the agreement that any sign of treachery would result in death. Altair had smirked and barely managed to stifle a laugh at the thought of being harmed by such small creatures, regardless of their strength and number. Malik had nudged him with his elbow and accepted the terms with a simple "likewise" before they were on their way to the camp.

The dwarves kept a vigilant eye on the men whilst watching out for any strange behaviour in the forest. The surprise of finding the strangers had made them momentarily forget the dangers that still lurked within the woods.

While they were walking Altair noticed that he still had the Apple tightly held in his hand. His fingers actually hurt from the strain of gripping it so tightly. He relaxed his hold on the object and was just about to put it away into the pouch on his belt when the wizard appeared beside him. It was clear that the wizard had a keen interest in the golden object and Altair made a mental note to guard the Apple with greater vigilance whilst in the company of the dwarves and wizard. The Apple was their only ticket home, Altair just had to figure out how to use it correctly first...

**A/N: So this was just meant to be a one-shot written with the sole intent of having some fun. It was _meant_ to be really short but I got a few ideas whilst writing it and so I thought, what the heck, why not? Afterall, it's not everyday that you get to throw in a couple of assassins with a bunch of dwarves, a hobbit, a wizard and everything else that Middle Earth has to offer. I've never really been one for crossovers yet here I am. The world truly does work in mysterious ways (:  
**


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